He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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