So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no