just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.