HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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