2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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