maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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