I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
