Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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