Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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