she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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