it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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