God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
