btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
