yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
