what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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