Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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