im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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