turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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