She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
