shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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