Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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