South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
