sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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