I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
