So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
