wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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