ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
