Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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