IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize