I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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