wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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