Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
