I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
