Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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