just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
