In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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