And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my liver is dry heaving
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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