I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
