It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
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You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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