I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
