I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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