about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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