the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
