Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cannot find my penis.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
