when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Found the puke drawer
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
