Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize