Don't you send me to vm
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
