doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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