Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
