i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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