When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
