Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
