you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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