I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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