I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
