i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
