Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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