Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
