flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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