hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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