theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
