the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
