He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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