I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have aggressive nipples.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
