You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
