i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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