Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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